


Now You're in the World

by aurora_chiroptera



Category: Imperial Radch Series - Ann Leckie
Genre: F/F, Other, r2sid 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 13:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14402748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurora_chiroptera/pseuds/aurora_chiroptera
Summary: Ranch AU. Someone turns up at Breq's door she never thought she would see again.For the Republic of Two Systems Independence Day exchange!





	Now You're in the World

**Author's Note:**

> Tal's request was "Awn surviving and being reunited with Skaaiat and/or Breq." Tal, I hope you're okay this is Ranch AU!

She walked in the door and I fell, stopping so suddenly that my prosthetic leg gave out. She looked different from how I remembered her, how she came back to me during both dreams and sleepless nights alike. Her light brown skin had more freckles from long hours in the sun. Her hair was cut so short, I could see her scalp underneath. There was some grey flecked in it and lines around her mouth. 

But she was undoubtedly Awn Elming. She had aged, because she had lived.

The lines deepened as she smiled at me, then fell away as she hurried forward to help me off the ground. “One Esk,” she said my code name, as though we were back in the field, as if I had never shot her.

As if she never died.

I gripped her arms once I was standing again, so that I knew she was real. I saw the shoulder of her jacket was torn and it was all I could do not to try and take it from her for repair. To fall back into the routine before she had died. “Lieutenant,” I managed, my voice cracking halfway through the word.

Her smile was back, and I wanted to look at if forever. “I missed you.”

“How are you alive?” I asked, blinking as fast as I could. As if I could hide the tears. They built up and fell. 

“It’s a long story,” Awn said. She reached a hand out and wiped my cheek. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to take care of you.”

I thought I could understand what it was like to get better. That I could learn to live without you, that I could carry on the work that you had done and be okay... I couldn’t say these things, because she had never known how she had changed me. How she had saved me.

“Awn,” I managed.

“Breq,” she pulled me close then, holding me as if I was the one that would vanish back into a dream.

I listened to her heartbeat against my cheek. Her breath brushed against my forehead. I wanted to stay there, but I knew that would be rude. I slowly pulled away, and she let me go, hands sliding down my arm.

“Can you stay?” I asked.

Awn nodded. “I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

“I have your favorite tea,” I limped back to the kitchen. The big house suddenly felt warmer than it ever had. I could hear Seivarden singing badly in the shower in the distance.

“You remember what it is?” Awn followed, looking at the living room the front door opened into. The older dog watched her from the carpet, tail wagging happily.

“Orange and ginger oolong,” I took the tin down from above the stove, then went to fill the kettle. I wanted to keep my eyes on her, and wondered what she saw in how I was living, so far from the battlefield even if war linger in my mind and body.

Awn grinned, focusing on me once more. “You’re the only one that can make it just how I like it.”

“Practice,” I offered. “Please, sit.”

Awn pulled out one of the rough kitchen chairs. I couldn’t help but try and see it through her eyes. But she surprised me by saying, “It’s beautiful here.”

I leaned against the counter. “Thank you.”

“How long have you lived here?”

“Nearly three years, they had to hide me after an assignment where I went... against orders.” Unlike the last time Awn had seen me. Why hadn’t I been stronger then? “Have you seen Skaaiat?” I asked, wanting to take the attention off myself.

Awn took in a breath. I knew that expression well. She had worn it often when Skaaiat hadn’t been in touch for a long stretch of time. I knew then that Awn was still unsure if Skaaiat loved her.

“I see,” I took teapot down, putting the loose leaves in place and pouring the boiling water over them. I brought it to Awn, resting a cup at her elbow. “She has missed you greatly.” But not more than I. I once more held back all that I wanted to say. And I didn’t know if it was true. Last I had seen Skaaiat, she was at a desk job, helping me start my new identity. She had been much changed, a picture of Awn on her desk as if as a reminder.

“She has?” Awn leaned forward.

I couldn’t help but smile. Maybe we could pretend all that time hadn’t passed, that I hadn’t done what I had. “Yes.”

Awn tensed, as if she would rush to find Skaaiat right then. But she settled back in the chair, serving herself the tea, and pouring my cup as well. “Do you know where she is?”

“No, but I know someone could find out,” I drank the tea. “Do you have a place to stay?”

Awn shook her head. “I only just came back. I came here as soon as I could track you down. They’ve hidden you well.”

“You can stay with us as long as you like.”

“Us?” Awn’s brows raised over the rim of her cup.

“Breq, we’re going to need more shampoo.” Seivarden made her entrance, hair wrapped in a towel. She caught sight of Awn and squeaked.

I hid my amusement behind a sip of tea. “Seivarden, we have company.”

 

“I see that,” she finished buttoning the last buttons on her dress. “You couldn’t have come and warned me?”

“And interrupted your performance?” I shook my head.

Awn looked between the two of us, a smile slowly growing.

***

Seivarden was able to pull some strings with the remnants of her rank of captain to find out where Skaaiat was currently stationed. And then, because neither myself nor Awn wanted the government to know where we were, Seivarden somehow got a dinner meeting set up between herself and Skaaiat. The one issue with all this was that we couldn’t warn her that Awn was going to be there. I thought this was fair, because if I had been surprised than she should have to be too.

Awn stayed another night, and joined me on my morning run. We didn’t talk during the run, but just having her there beside me made it feel like the whole world had gotten warmer, brighter. Seivarden greeted us when we returned with decent oatmeal and fresh cut fruit. She had increased her cooking skills greatly since when she first showed up on my doorstep.

We left once everyone was showered and the were animals fed. Skaaiat was at a base on the other side of the state and it took us four hours to get there. Awn asked me to sing, and though my voice rather worse than when I had last seen her, she grinned at each verse. Seivarden joined me for a few from her place in the backseat.

The restaurant Seivarden had chosen had private rooms to reserve, and I had given her the money to do so. Awn and I sat across from each other, drinking tea that wasn’t as good as what I made at home, and Seivarden paced, muttering under her breath as though trying to get into character of being a captain. There was just a single table, a chandelier overhead. I had already calculated several ways to escape should something go wrong. Awn looked nervous, eyes on the door that Skaaiat could walk through any moment.

When Skaaiat did walk through, I knew because of Awn’s sharply drawn in breath. I watched as Skaaiat saluted Seivarden, not noticing that they weren’t alone.

“I hope you don’t mind I brought some friends with me,” Seivarden smiled, gesturing with a flourish to where Awn and I were sitting.

Skaaiat’s polite smile vanished when she laid eyes on Awn. I watched what must have been a mirror of my own face when Awn walked into my home two days before. Then Skaaiat started crying and she didn’t do anything to hide it. Awn stood and they were both running the short distance into each other’s arms. Awn was swept up and they held each other close.

Seivarden stepped around to my side, her hand coming to rest on my shoulder. She leaned down and pressed a light kiss above my ear. “Good work Breq.”

I glanced at her, then nodded. “Thank you for your help.”

We watched Awn and Skaaiat murmured to each other and gently touched, not believing the other was real. I felt a smile come to my face. Leaning against Seivarden, I wondered at this. A life with happiness was not one I was accustomed to. But the longer the emotion steeped, the better it got.

Awn met my eyes, and her smile alone let me know that maybe, it was all going to be okay after all.


End file.
